Thursday 3rd May 2018

I hate “feeling” something for someone, and I don’t mean when someone is upset and I’m like “fuck you and your feelings,” it’s the feeling of liking someone in a romantic way and being in a relationship with them and I hate the feeling. To me it feels like walking around with an open wound and expecting it not to get infected, I EXPECT IT TO GET INFECTED even if there isn’t a wound there in the first place. I feel that (to me) it’s dangerous to have that thought because I like to be calm about everything and any time I feel it opening up I consciously close it again because of everything that has happened in the past, which is dangerous itself, but to me it is what it is and I lowkey like it because it protects me from everything.

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