To Die For

After my post “Mental Diary” (which you can read here: https://oukasnat.wordpress.com/2018/05/07/mental-diary/) I saw an interview with T.I. on the breakfast club (mostly talking about Kanye West) and he said one thing in the interview that really resonated with me, which was “I think if a person ain’t found nothing they’re willing to die for they ain’t fit to live” and it really made me think about it. I didn’t want to think about it too much because I wanted to be part of this post so y’all could be part of the journey as well, I also wanted to do this because I have never really known what I wanted to do with my life and I thought this might direct me to it.

1. People

Not any random person but my friends, people I really care about. For a long time now I’ve not really valued my own life and I would always put other peoples needs in front of mine because quite frankly I don’t think I have any of importance. When it comes to other people’s dreams and wants I can always think of ideas for it, even if I have no clue about the subject I would actually put in research and time like it’s my thing, or if it’s any type of motivation I will always push someone to do it no matter what because I truly believe they can, but whenever it comes to me to think about something to drive me I always just draw a blank. If me dying would help even in the slightest for someone to achieve their dream I would definitely do it as for me it would feel like I’ve accomplished something and not in an egotistical way its just that I honestly don’t feel I can achieve anything so if I could help someone else do that it would be amazing for me. There are also two people I would put myself in danger for without hesitation, like if they were in danger and I could prevent it I would definitely put myself in the line of fire without even thinking.

2. …

I was literally sitting here for the longest time thinking about other things I would die for but honestly, I can’t think of anything. In terms of what I want to do with my life I guess it would involving helping people, but for me to do that I would need to help myself…

In addition to that I’m definitely not really in the position I would like to be to help people on the scale I would like but I do, do what I in the position that I’m at now. I feel like I need something for myself that I’m willing to die for but that fire has been put out a long time ago and I can’t seem to find something to light it that comes from myself, which would be not only for me, but for the grand scheme of how I would like to help people.

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