I’ve always realised this, but I’m sooooo different to everyone around me. I don’t know what it is, but everyone around me has such a different vibe to me; loud, energetic, talkative, (I could go on and on) and none of those are me lol. Even the people that are chilled like me are still on a whole other vibe and it’s kind of like I’m always left out in the midst of everything, the main reason why my blog is called OUTKASTnation (without the t’s anyway) .
When I was younger I somewhat made it my mission to ‘belong’ because I was already made aware of how ‘different’ I was on numerous occasions. That went pretty well during primary school, but there is only 30 people in a class so it can’t be that hard to do. Moving onto secondary school, I knew a few people already when we started so it was ok’ish for me, but after that year passed it just seemed I couldn’t ‘hang’ anymore for some reason. I slowly then began going into myself more and more and it was almost like I was spectating my own life inside of my own body for most of the time. You know in movies where time suddenly slows down, and the main character is just looking around at everything. That’s how nearly everyday has felt since year 8, and that’s ‘ability’ has really opened my eyes to how completely different I am to my friends and family.
I know everyone is unique, but everybody seems to have a group of people or somebody that matches their aura fully so naturally, but I don’t think I’ve completely had that experience with someone, maybe becoming so into myself is was gives people different impressions of me because I’m honestly very hard to dissect, but that has come with time through many things, even though I don’t think it’s that hard.
Recently I have learnt to impose myself more on people instead of adapting to them (which I have learnt to do really well over my many years within my own constraints), which might bring that same energy from someone or a group of people a lot closer to me. You know I was writing this I thought that maybe other people are meant to compliment my own characteristics, which is true, but I don’t know lol.
What do you guys think?