I’ve been wanting to write about this for honestly God knows how long, but better late than never isn’t it. I was initially going to talk about this subject as a whole, but honestly, this post would have been way too long with too many emotional turns. No one wants to read a uni dissertation so I think the best thing to do is to put this in parts (some parts might be longer than others).
This first part I’m going to touch on is reputation. It seems that an African parents reputation is more important than the wellbeing of their child, which is disgusting.
(DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT ALL OF THEM, BUT IT’S PROBABLY 99%)
Honestly, African parents are one of the most IF NOT selfish people on this planet (sorry not sorry). As much as they don’t see or believe it, they make everything about themselves regardless of how their child feels. We all know about that traditional line “You must become a Lawyer or a Doctor blah blah blah” rhetoric, and when I think about it now, is it honestly for the child’s sake? or is it for your own bragging rights?
I think African elders (especially the women, again sorry not sorry) just want to call every relative to be like “My son/ daughter is a Doctor” “My son/ daughter drives a Mercedes” (this actually happens) and it seems like there’s this “I need to one you up” system that they’ve implanted in themselves and for what? I’m trying to keep this strictly on this topic because it’s so easy to branch into other things as they are all very intertwined, but for someone like me even, I can’t live up to those expectations because:
- I don’t want to be any of those
- I don’t think I can
- I wouldn’t be happy doing it anyway
And what do you think that does to a person when it’s being forced upon them?
African parents will force you down a route where your soul becomes lifeless (literally) just so they can boast to the other aunties at the party and that isn’t right.
Your child’s happiness and well-being should be way more important than whatever job you think they should have, what you think they should study, how you think they should be etc. Your life and your child are completely different and they should be free to explore and become who they really should be. Restricting them because of some beer belly uncle’s opinion or your outdated incorrect thoughts is not only very stupid but incredibly toxic.
That’s why I rate KSI’s parents. Even though they get hate sometimes, they allowed their children to “EXPLORE” and “BECOME WHO THEY WANT TO BE” and look at them now.
(Had to drop this classic here lol)
Uncle Felix that is doing Oga in Nigeria, but coming back to London and working as Tesco cleaner is only lying to himself all because of image gang and reputation.
Help your children with guidance to ignite their own light. Let it not be about you because it isn’t. Separate lives and separate times. African parents really need to come out this tunnel their still looking through.