If you haven’t seen part one already, please read it here: First Year of University (Part One)
Just before I start part two, I put my USB in my Mum’s laptop to transfer some things from her laptop to mine, and ended up finding some old photos that I thought were gone! Although it’s not all of them, it’s better than what I initially had, so at least I’ll have some more pictures to add! But anyway.
Let’s get into part two!
On one particular night out I was talking to my friend Rachel when I noticed this girl walking in our direction. From the very moment I set my eyes on her, I knew it was a wrap. Only one other girl has made me feel what I’m about to describe, but I’m telling you now, (to me anyway) this girl was B E A UTIFUL, and I don’t use that word for many people. But it wasn’t just that, there was something else. I don’t think love at first sight exists because I know what being in love feels like (even though I’ve forgotten really), but on God, I could have proposed to her in that very moment. I can’t articulate the feeling, but it was sooooo mad. Like I was in a state of awe times infinity.
Everyone knows Rachel knows everyone, so what are the chances of her coming our way? You guessed it, 100% She began to speak to Rachel, and I just remember telling my friend waiting for me to finish my initial conversation so we could keep it moving “This girl soo peenngg.” Obviously, he responded with “Go speak to her then,” and I immediately replied with “No, are you mad.”
But again, I was still in the early stages of this thing, and it was impossible for me to just start talking to girls like that, especially HER. But anyway, the night went on, and so does my life.
At this point, everything was going well, and going out every week was extremely fun at the time I’m not going to lie. There was even this one week we went out Monday – Friday (bearing in mind I had 9 am’s every single day). Believe when I woke up after coming back home the early hours of that Saturday it was Sunday! (true story lol).
But that first chink in the armour I built had to come about sometime right?
It was my first exam, and we were doing the practical side of it. Just to mention I studied Biochemistry (yeah I know) and obviously we’re in exam conditions, which is kool. After finishing the practical we were meant to draw this graph, and answer another couple of things (though I can’t fully remember what they were).
But honestly…I couldn’t do it.
I’ve always had a problem with graphs throughout my whole school life, and the other things we had to answer was a myth. I remember just watching everyone else getting it done with ease, and I could feel it coming.
In moments like this, I would usually have a mental breakdown, and I could feel it rising and rising to surface. I felt like my brain and heart was being squeezed so tight because I was trying to keep myself under control.
“I can’t let them see I’m struggling.”
“I can’t let them see how unkool I am.”
Because the kool kids don’t have any mental problems, right?
So I sat there for a while and “tried,” but I couldn’t. I could feel my heart racing, my stress levels going up, my breathing getting deeper. And I had to call the teacher over to say “I’m done.”
He knew I wasn’t because he could see my paper blank, but he still asked me “Are you sure?” But I had to leave that room. And even though I knew I didn’t finish, I was just glad it was “over with.”
Of course, I failed that module and I failed it again because I was focusing on the module we were currently doing, and I didn’t remember shit (keyword being “remember,” but I’ll get into that later). The funny thing about it is that I wasn’t aware I had resit because I was never informed about it. It was just like “SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER!” on the day of the test, but it’s done now so I digress.
After my first hiccup, things were back on the up again, I got a first in my next module, 2:1 in the next, and my confidence was slowly rising in every aspect, ESPECIALLY with the gyaldem, but even still, every time I would see that same girl from before out, I would freeze.
But all of that was about to change at Hiren’s birthday when…