At that twist has to come from the source, doesn’t it? Obviously, I’m still hurting about her and everything, but my thing always was that if you TELL ME you don’t want to do this AT ALL, and I mean FINISHED COMPLETELY, then fine, I’ll leave you alone. One night I was meant to go out with Brandon, but he pulled out last minute. I was already heading out so I was like “Fuck it” I’ll go on my ones (by myself), I mean I’ve been out by myself before many times so it’s nothing new to me.
I ended up meeting Riad (who coincidentally came out by himself as well) and one of my original classmates who was celebrating her birthday with her people, so it was all good. That was until “she” came in, and the whole mood just shifted. Obviously, I’m still not talking to her, but on this particular night she was always in my path when I had to go somewhere, so I had to keep passing her the whole night, and it was just hella uncomfortable.
The night was dead I’m not going to lie, and I and a couple of friends that I meet in the club also were contemplating leaving. After a while, one of my friends decided to leave so I walked her to the door to say my goodbyes. But for some reason, I just stood at the door. While standing there, someone grabbed my hand from behind and said: “You don’t want to speak to me anymore?” When I turned around it was her, so I told her that I do and we went outside and spoke.
She begins telling me how sorry she is, that she didn’t know her friend would act like that, and she thought I hated her so that’s why she didn’t speak to me and how we should be friends.
So this whole this was a miscommunication.
In my head, I thought “Everything is kool now, and we’re getting back on track.” But to be honest, the only other time I saw or spoke to her the whole year again was the week after that, and that was it. There were no problems with that encounter though so to me we’re kool going off our last interaction, so that part of the story is done, for now…
Remember at the end of Second Year of University (Part Two) when I said I met a girl and everything was running smoothly. Well, that was 2 weeks prior to that happening. Like I said I thought everything was back on track, and me being me, I can’t juggle two people, and I honestly don’t know how people do it either, of course, my heart still beats for her, so I had to basically “lock it off” with this new girl.
It was so peak because I was in the library at the time and I called her. The first time she said she was watching Eastenders and she’ll call me back lol. But when she called me back I eventually ended up telling her. You know when someone’s voice is cracking because they’re crying, but also trying to keep shit together. THAT SHIT HURT! After that, I had to leave the library because I couldn’t work anymore. I thought that would have been the end of it till I remembered whilst walking back home that she left her charger at my house when she stayed over the previous day, so I had to see her again.
So I text her the next day telling her that I’m coming to drop her charger and I start making my way to her house. So I drop the charger and we start talking in her room, having a normal conversation, until she asks in the middle of it “Why are you not talking about what you said on the phone yesterday?”
So we’re talking about it, but she not really the type of person that likes talking about “feelings.” But it got to the part of the conversation where I had to ask “Was it that deep for you?” Initially, she wouldn’t answer the question, but after a long while, she nodded her head ever so slightly and then small small tears started running down her face.
I don’t like making people feel bad (even unintentionally), so just seeing her like that made me feel even worse, so I went over to console her. So now she’s like lying on my lap giving me this nice ass speech (I’m not going to lie). Her final part was something like “If I’m never going to see you let me give you one last kiss.”
That one kiss turned into another on the cheek, then a kiss on the head, then a peck on the lip, escalating all the way up to the other end of the spectrum. The next day she messaged me to go shopping with her in Birmingham to find a dress for her ACS Ball (or something like that), and from that moment on, it was a wrap.
(the Cloud is dangerous by the fact I can still bring this up from my old Apple ID)
For the next three months or so I was basically living at her house, my house hardly saw my face and even when it did more time than not she would follow me back or just show up unannounced because she was bored lol. I’m telling you now this girl was soooo into me and treated me incredibly well. There was even one time I was feeling sick and told her about it, and within 5 minutes she was outside my house with wings she made for me, like:
But all of that changed when I went to her house after my classmates birthday and told her “I would rather be with you (I’m paraphrasing, but yeah).”
Not initially, but the next time I left her house to go mine I could notice the change in her behaviour. I would always ask her while we were together “Why she still wanted to see and talk to me after everything,” “And why she liked me so much.” And if it was all good then, what was the problem after I saying that now? I mean it would make sense to stay with her right?
One day she came to mine to eat, but we ended up talking about everything and she basically said the same thing the other girl said: “She isn’t ready this, and this this that, etc.”
Aaaaannd really and truly, there’s nothing more for me to say on the matter or this university year.
Literally and figuratively I just got deleted from her life after that,