Of course, the previous parts will be linked below:
This year was really the beginning of the end in every sense of the imagination, and I had trouble thinking about how I was going to start it. But just like the previous years, it has to be with freshers. The difference between this year and the previous years is that I only went to one event, which was Becky Hill. The original plan was completely different until I bumped into the housemate of the girl that is the core of this story.
So anyway, me Brandon and Daps went off to Kasbah very early (since we didn’t have tickets) and waited. I knew this girl was coming so I’m out here buying triple vodka and red bulls like a mad man to loosen myself up. After getting word the main room has opened we all made our way there and whilst standing at the door Daps says to me “Your girl is over there” instinctively I turn around and immediately she comes over to give me a hug and says “I’m so sorry I’ve been so stupid,” and to be honest, I kinda saw all of this coming.
Even though we hadn’t interacted since the last time I mentioned in Second Year of University (Final Part), during the summer she was more active than usual on my social media. Because of this, I started to become more curious, which led to me looking through her likes after she liked one of my tweets. Whilst scrolling through I saw a few tweets like: “when someone means the world to you…” and shit like that and began to overthink about who it could be about, but then I just put those thoughts to the side and continued with my life (because I was actually enjoying my summer that year).
Fast forwarding to this present moment we’re all chilling in the club and her friend is still on my case (shout out to the mandem for sorting that out). After Becky Hill performed, I and her friends went back to hers and chilled, and from there, everything was a go. We were talking every day, went on a couple of dates, and everything was going well leading up to her birthday.
Don’t get me wrong her birthday wasn’t bad, but I could tell during the middle of the night there was something “off” with her, but because it was her birthday I just let it be for her sake. I knew she was going back to London the next day to celebrate with her family, so I left her alone the next day as well till I messaged her on that Sunday night, but I didn’t get a response. After two days with no response, I went to seek counsel from the “wise one” and eventually texted her with the message “Is everything ok?”
5 am in the morning the next day I get this long ass paragraph from her explaining how she feels and etc. So we’re going back and forth, but texting is not the place for this type of thing so I message her “I can’t do this on the text. At least let me talk to you in person.” She agreed and told me she was going to the library at X time, and I could meet her there. I had everything I had to say planned before, but as soon as I saw her outside, my whole head went blank. During our conversation, there was always a “Yeah but why?” question after everything she said, but she couldn’t give me an answer. For example, her being too childish for a relationship would be her reason, I would give response/ “solution” to that, she would say no, and then “Yeah, but why,” “I don’t know.”
We spent just over an hour talking outside, and the core issue for me was if you say you feel like you do about me, then why wouldn’t you want a relationship? But she didn’t have an answer for it. It got to the stage where I had nothing else to come back with or say so I told her: “Tell me you don’t like me and you don’t want to do this anymore and I’ll leave you alone.” Do you know what she responded with?
“I can’t do that.”
And ]that was my problem, and I told her that was the problem. Like I said before though I had nothing else to say, so I gave her one last hug and went about on my way. I’m not going to lie after our meeting I HURTING, but after the next day coming I was actually fine, I mean at least we talked it out this time instead of her ghosting on me. So I thought we at least had a little understanding between us, and everything was kool despite the circumstances.
Or so I thought…