If you haven’t seen the previous parts the links are below:
My two boys knew about her and what happened and I had been wallowing in my bed lifeless. I wasn’t really on going out anymore, but they pushed me to go out again. When I finally ended up going my mind was honestly somewhere else, and I could only think of her. Just looking at all these girls and everyone enjoying themselves felt like nothing, and I would end up leaving the club early most of the times.
After a couple of weeks, they were tired of me being in the state I was and told me “Today you must move to a girl, there are no excuses!” I was extremely reluctant at first, but after a while of them talking I said “Ok,” and we headed out to the club.
(Rachel with her terrible camera skills on the day dropping us our discounted price wristbands)
When we got there it was terrible lol. I felt exactly the same, but I gave these guys a promise, so I tried to come through with it. Booooyyyyyy, the number of laps I did in that club, and I swear I did not see a single soul. It wasn’t until the last 5 – 10 minutes where I scored a last minute goal and managed to get her number just before she got into her taxi. I didn’t think too much of it, and in fact, I kind of forgot about it until I was in my friend’s car the next day.
When I opened up WhatsApp and checked her profile picture my eyes lit up. Imagine I shouted, “Woooaaaahhh, this girl is peng!” Inside the care lol.
We then got to talking, went out a couple of times and initially I was so up for it, but as the time went by it became less and less and less, but I kept telling myself “You’re using this other girl as an excuse, keep going you’ll get over it.” I remember one time I was at hers and whilst we were in bed she asked me “What are we?”
Boooooyyyyyyy, I just said, “We’re whatever you say we are whenever you say it” (I really didn’t want to be that one that made that decision). We continued seeing each and etc. And this time she was at mine and asked me the same question. You would think the same trick would work twice but nope. She wanted an answer this time. “You’re using this girl as an excuse you’re using this girl as an excuse” is what kept going off in my head. So I told her, “Yeah, we’re together.”
That was the beginning of the end because although I had a new lease of life from it initially, that shit came crashing down just as fast, to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore, my head and heart wasn’t in it anymore.
So I had to lock it off.
I did it on the phone and in the worst possible way. I had everything articulated and planned out in my head beforehand, but when it came to the moment I froze, and in the end, I ended up blurting “I can’t be with you no more!”
She cut the call abruptly, but the weirdest thing happened after…I didn’t feel bad at all. In fact, I felt better. It’s crazy because I’ve broken up with people I’m not even in a relationship with (those who know, know) and I’ve felt terrible about it. For once in my life, I was the “bad guy” in a situation, and it gave me a different perspective on things.
It was also the first thing that saved me.
I ended up finishing the rest of my uni work, and shout out to Jasmine because she really pushed me to when she knew I didn’t really give a fuck, and after all of that, the summer ball was approaching.
I initially said no when Rachel asked me earlier in the year, but I changed my mind later on as I thought “This is probably the last time I’ll see all of these people alive, so I might as well go,” and to honest, It was one of the best days ever.
(here’s a couple of snaps from the day)
Putting that to the side though I did end up seeing “her” at the ball and I was avoiding the fuck out of her for the whole night until she approached me to talk. (this was a really long conversation, so I’m just going to pick out a few things) She told me not to trust Aseef (or however you spell his name. He recorded me one time and sent the conversation to her housemate), and why she and her housemates blocked me, how she felt about me and etc. At the end of our conversation, she said she would unblock me off everything, and we should start again, you know, a fresh start.
And that was the second thing that saved me.
It was also a lie because I never heard from her again.