University Thoughts

I’m not going to link the previous parts in this post, but if you want to read my university story, you can read them here:

Looking back at everything I went through at university, I blame myself. Yes, I blame myself. I wasn’t strong enough to deal with the situations I faced, and I reacted in the worst way possible.

If you put the version of me now, then, I would have definitely handled everything A LOT differently. I definitely would have left that girl alone from the start, I wouldn’t have let things get to me as much, I would have written my work to a higher level, but most importantly, I wouldn’t have gone to university without knowing what I wanted to do in the first place.

Because I have nothing.

In all honesty, I feel like if you’re not trying to become a Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer or something like that, there is no point of actually going to university. You’re literally paying 9k a year for slides when in all honesty you learn more doing work at home than you do in your actual lectures.

On the flip side of things, you could say “I had to go through those experiences unless I wouldn’t get to the person I am today.” But at the same time why do I? It always makes me think why I didn’t do a better job in the first place, and why “pain” is somehow the only way a lesson can be taught.

It’s actually been harder than I thought to put this into words (kind of why I went off tangent a bit), but the main thing I’m trying to say is I take full responsibility for every single thing that has happened, regardless of if it was “actually my fault.”


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Betul Erbasi says:

    I certainly get the feeling, but whether we realize it or not (and I don’t, always), everything happens for a reason. It is also not helpful to stay regretful since whatever happened happened. I am saying these not because I am able to do them but because I think we should all do them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. officialosi says:

      I understand that. And I’m not regretful about everything per say, I just know things could have been handled better, which is my responsibility regardless. But I totally agree with you

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Betul Erbasi says:

        I have those thoughts too. Thoughts that I could have done better, but oh well.

        Liked by 1 person

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