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Man oh man. This is probably the top three worst feelings in life. The mental and physical strain it puts on your body is unbelievable. And it’s even worse when you have to go to work, pay bills, look after so and so, etc. And most days you just wish you weren’t even here anymore.
But how do you get over a heartbreak?
I know It’s extremely hard, and everyone has their coping mechanisms. But one thing I can say is going out drinking and hooking up with someone else is not the answer. temporarily it might feel like it, but you’ll feel even worse the day after and you would wish you never did it. I would say the first thing you have to do is embrace it. That’s right, embrace the feeling of the heartbreak. Cherish and hold the heartbreak (well don’t do that lol). By that I mean just let yourself “feel.” And for however long you need to because I feel this is an important step.
Out of sight out of mind isn’t necessarily true (for me anyway), but if you haven’t already, just block the other person from everything. Delete any pictures you have, just try and get rid of anything you have of them. I say this because these are triggers, and you’ll end up wallowing over things that you shouldn’t be (believe me). I used to stare at the score sheet from our last date (we went to laser tag), and for some reason, I didn’t want to get rid of it because it reminded me of her together (crazy right). It might be hard to do but just do it. It releases a lot of emotions inside you. Not all of it, but it’s another step towards healing.
The next thing you should do is try and keep yourself busy. I know this one is very hard as well in this state, but if you can distract your mind with other things, you won’t think about the person as much. It’s also better to be around other people because you tend to focus more on them, whereas by yourself your mind is more prone to drift back to that person.
It’s also important to not rush back into another relationship (and I’ve been guilty of this) because one, it’s not fair on the other person, and two, you’re going to keep comparing both people which is going to mess you up. You’ll always feel something for that person (especially if they were your first), but you know you’re ready when they no longer have any bearing over your emotional state or decisions, that’s when you know you can fly again.
Hopefully, this is helpful. It’s basically what I’ve learned through my own experience. If you have any other suggestions, don’t be afraid to add your say in the comments. Thank you for reading, and be sure to follow the Berry Instagram Page.
5 Lessons You Can Take From This
1. Feel: Let yourself feel the heartbreak, don’t try and brush it off straight away. You need to fully understand the emotions taking place.
2. Out of Sight, Out of Mind: Get rid of anything that has to do with them. Numbers, pictures, social media, etc. Just get rid
3. Don’t Drink & Hook Up With A Bunch of People: It may feel good for that moment, but it’ll feel ten times worse the day after.
4. Keep Yourself Busy: Distracting the mind will shift your thoughts away from them.
5. Don’t Rush Into Another Relationship: It’s not healthy for either party, and it won’t end well for both of you.
In association with the Berry Dating App dedicated to Black Love #BlackLoveMatters