Day 8 – Something You’re Currently Worrying About

The only thing that I’m worried about is my life (in terms of living). I know people say “you have time” and all that, and as I just typed that I realised I’ve probably written this post more than a thousand times, but I’m so behind compared to most people I started at the same time/same level with, and it makes me sick. 23 years into life and I haven’t even started it yet.

I was meant to have an interview for a marketing job (finally), and you’ve been following me for a while, you would kind of gathered that self-worth and “dem tings deya,” isn’t exactly a trait of mine. With that being said, I was very confident that I would get this job, and it was a perfect foundation for me to kick on with my life. But guess what happened…

(to be honest, you should guess it because it’s the only thing anyone is talking about)

Coronavirus. Coronavirus has come to fuck up everything, and my interview got cancelled. This is 100% a worldwide issue that is affecting everyone, but I’ve always said, anytime I’m almost at a place to reach a goal or to attain some type of happiness, something always happens to fuck it up FROM ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE! Yes, this is affecting everyone, not just me. But who knew you could live a life with a 0% success rate in everything.

Currently, my mum is not in the country. And although I’m fine right now, there is no way I would be able to look after or sustain myself. How can I pay bills and buy food? It’s impossible. I don’t even have a job right now…What an absolute joke.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Hey,
    I just wanted to say that it makes me sad to read this. It is not your fault that your interview got cancelled. It is not your fault you are not where you want to be at this moment because of circumstances that happened. Which are (by the way) out of your control.

    You cannot fault yourself for wanting to be successful and wanting to actually work and put something towards the global economy. There are people out there who don’t want to work and are just lazy. You should be proud of yourself for wanting to better yourself and give yourself something better than what you had before. It is perfectly fine to be in the circumstances you are in right now. I may not know fully your circumstances besides what you wrote on here, but I do know one thing, it will get better.

    I am also going through the same thing as you are. And guess what? I am still getting the support I need and want from my mum because she knows I have the desire to want to work and provide for myself and to just be there for her too as she was for me growing up. At least you have the same desire to do good in life and to want to work and provide for yourself and family.

    Just try to not give up on yourself. I know it is hard and it is easier said than done. I also have my moments of where I want to just give up and not do anything. But you know what keeps me going? My faith in God and my mum’s faith in me. She kept me going through my toughest moments and no matter how much I wanted to give up or drop out of things that stressed me out in the past, I still kept on going because of her.

    All I am saying is, find something to focus on that will help you not give up on you. Because if you give up on yourself, there won’t be nothing else left for you to hold on to.

    I just want to say that you are not alone in feeling this way. We are in this together. I hope what I said has helped in some way or in a little way, if anything. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. officialosi says:

      I don’t even know where to start. I thought I did find something to focus on, and although it’s kool it’s not really getting me to a destination so how I initially felt about it isn’t as strong as it was at the start.

      I can see that you do understand through your words, and that makes me take it in more, and it defo did uplift me a little bit, so thank you 😊

      And I am “going on,” but I’m now going through the motions because it’s what I “have to do” without that same fire I had at the start because I’ve barley progressed, which is a bit shit

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well you have to start somewhere. There are still days where i think that I have not got a clue where to start or how to get on with my day, but i do it anyway because no one else is going to do it for me. Each day is a new one and it is a chance to start over and fix any fuck ups you made before. See each new day as a fresh start. If you didnt like the day before, start again. You dont always have to know where you are going but as long as you are going somewhere, that is more important than just standing still and doing nothing. Standing still and doing nothing isnt going to get you anywhere. Start smalll, set yourself small acheiveable goals that you know you can acheive and tick them over one by one. You’ll start to see that you are getting somewhere. That somewhere can be anywhere, just let it be and let life take the lead and let life decide of where your destination will be.

        Yes, there will be days where you dont feel like doing shit and that is totaly acceptsble. I have those days too. It is about getting back up and starting afresh all over again. No matter how long it takes.

        i haven’t progressed much either, but it is what it is (for the current situation). But when this all blows over, you’ll be able to resume again. just give it time.

        There will be days where you’ll be impatient and that is okay. Just take your emotions and deal with them all one at a time.

        Sometimes it helps to have a buddy or a friend that can relate to you to help you get through your days. Just offering a helping hand is what some people may need and i am more than happy to offer a helping hand even if we are in the same boat. It is not about what I have or what I don’t have. It is about kindness and being caring whcih is why i want to offer a helping hand to you. But it is up to you if you want to take it.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. officialosi says:

        Nah, you’re right. I never turn down help from someone just because they’re not up there. There’s something to gain from any type of person, even children can teach you something.

        My main this I just want to “get in,” I just want to be able to start. Once I’ve got that I’ll be good to go, which is the main thing that is frustrating me.

        And listen, you defo doing better than me, so you’re going somewhere, slow or not, you’re getting there

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Well I’m trying. I still have a lot of work to do. And it’d definitely help to have someone to talk to about it who really understands. Even I need help you know. It’s a little hard dealing with it all alone.

        But I know you’ll do just fine. Just have some faith and keep praying something good will come for you. Just hang in there.

        Liked by 2 people

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