L’s For April 2021

I’ve left this section of my blog in the dead simply because continuously talking about L’s to do with women is so boring, honestly. But I’m back now, so here I go. This particular L doesn’t hold as much weight as I have a job now, but it’s still an L.

So basically, back in April, I had two interviews for Marketing roles. One was a two-stage process, and the other was a three-stage process, but at this particular moment, I was on the second stage of one and the final stage of the other.

I first got a call from the final stage one and, he basically offered me the job. He then asked if I’m talking to anyone else and, he was really keen on getting me on board. I told him I have another interview this week on Thursday, so he told me to have that call and get back to him.

So I’ve had my interview with the other people and, it was time to decide, accept the first offer or take a chance with these people, and I went with the latter. The reason I did was that:

Pro reasons

  • There were people in the marketing team I could learn from
  • It seemed like a better environment from the talks I’ve had
  • The second company seemed to be in a “better” place (even though they were both start ups)

Con reasons

  • The job offer role didn’t have a team, it would just be me
  • It’s basically what I was doing already for free, so it didn’t seem very progressive from a personal point
  • I wanted to boost my chances in this field, and it seemed capped at very low ceiling

I was feeling pretty confident that I was getting the job anyway as I had really positive talks from the first two interviews. They said they would get back to me the following day, so I let the first guy know I was going with the other role.

The following day comes along, and I hear nothing (which was a Friday). It sounds so weird, but I get anxious asking for things because of past experiences, so I left it, and people don’t work Saturdays and Sundays, so you can imagine the anxiety has skyrocketed since.

Early in the morning, I emailed them asking about the role, and I got no response, so I decided to give the first guy a call asking if the job was still available, and he said YES! That he would get the paperwork to me tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow morning comes, and I have not received anything, so I’m starting to panic again. I then get a call in the afternoon from the people managing recruitment for him saying they forgot they scheduled two interviews since I declined the offer initially and it would be best practice for him to follow through with them. I was then told I would be informed of a decision on Thursday of that week.

At this point, I’m already fearing the worst. Emotions have also been compounded because by Thursday, guess what? I hear nothing. Again, I thought maybe he is just thinking about it, so I’ll get a call tomorrow, but nothing. I couldn’t wait till after the weekend like last time, so I called him, and guess what?

He went with one of the two people he interviewed on Thursday instead…

To top it all off, remember the other job I applied for that ghosted on me? I finally got an email back from them saying this.

I mean…

Not only did I have to go back like a crying ex because I fucked up, but the job I went for fucked up, so I double fucked up. Can you imagine.

I can’t tell you how much I beat myself up over this, I thought I was finally going to catch my break, but the universe said: “fuck you thought lol.” Although it’s all in the past, it’s still an L, an L that will stick with me forever.

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